Incident CVE-2026-LGTM

(nesbitt.io)

240 points | by mooreds 2 hours ago

21 comments

  • nickcw 1 hour ago
    That is very very funny, and oh so plausible.

    I enjoyed this bit a lot from the timeline

    > Karen Oyelaran finds the payload by reading the source code with her eyes and files a second issue. The triage assistant closes it as “duplicate of #8814.” Issue #8814 is a feature request for dark mode. Karen reopens it. The assistant closes it. Karen reopens it. Karen’s GitHub account is rate-limited for “patterns consistent with automated behaviour.”

    And this - the final sentence is a perfect indictment of the timeline we are in.

    > Two AI review agents from competing vendors, both attached to a downstream pull request bumping foxhole-lz4, enter a disagreement loop over whether the package is malicious. After 340 comments and $41,255 in inference spend, Finance revokes both API keys; one vendor’s marketing team, cc’d on the cost anomaly alert, issues a press release citing “a 430% YoY increase in adversarial multi-agent security reasoning.” The stock opens up 6%.

    I'm joining the goat farming waitlist ;-)

    • pkoiralap 14 minutes ago
      Justice to Karen

      > We would like to thank:

      >

      > Karen Oyelaran, who found the issue on Day 1 and is currently appealing her GitHub rate limit via a web form that is also AI-triaged

  • aliasxneo 20 minutes ago
    > Approximately 11% of affected hosts were still running fish as their login shell following the February incident; this had no bearing on anything but is noted here for completeness

    Yeah, this one got me laughing and seems like such a heavy Claudism. The number of times I'm reading Claude's response and throwing my hands in the air like, "What the fck does that have to do with anything!?" It's the worst part of the over eagerness.

  • SpyCoder77 9 minutes ago
    I did not realize this was satire until like halfway through. That is how insane the times are becoming
  • Octoth0rpe 1 hour ago
    The entire post is great, but the acknowledgements section is particularly excellent:

    > Kubernetes (the dog), who was not involved in this incident but whose photo in the #incident-response channel was auto-tagged by the Slack image classifier as “container orchestration diagram (confidence: 0.31)”

  • bilekas 1 hour ago
    > Duration: 96 hours (billable: 2.1 trillion tokens)

    Now there's a metric that would make my boss nervous.

    > Total inference spend across all parties during the incident window was $1.7M, which Marketing has asked us to start describing as “a record investment in autonomous customer assurance.”

    This is too funny.

    • mawadev 1 hour ago
      I think at some point we need a different or split up currency/economy, because these values make no sense. Just consider how this inference cost 1.062.500 tomatoes ($1.6) in the physical world.
  • piterrro 1 hour ago
    (I know its a satire, but could be seen as an actual post mortem of the future incident) This report made me realize there's no place for humans, as it is right now, in the process of building software systems in the future. Reading this incident made me dizzy after few paragraphs because of the cognitive context overload and I lost track multiple times.
    • RaSoJo 1 hour ago
      I kinda felt it was satire, but then the below quote threw me off:

      > one vendor’s marketing team, cc’d on the cost anomaly alert, issues a press release citing “a 430% YoY increase in adversarial multi-agent security reasoning.” The stock opens up 6%.

      That happens! That is not satire. So i had to visit the comments here to be sure :)

      • Retr0id 10 minutes ago
        Satire does usually have a degree of truth/realism.
    • unknownfuture 1 hour ago
      You're absolutely right!

      (In all seriousness it seems this is the dream of a huge number of AI pilled execs dreaming of infinite velocity at a fraction of the cost... velocity pointed where, you ask? Well stop asking or you'll be next.)

    • dbliss 1 hour ago
      Great satire. The comedy of errors along the way made me realize that this could have happened also with humans instead of bots. But now it’s faster.
      • unknownfuture 25 minutes ago
        It... really couldn't? Step 3 in this fictional chain would never happen with a HITL.

        I honestly can't tell with comments like this whether folks have too much respect for AI, or to little respect for people...

  • xandrius 41 minutes ago
    Great write-up.

    Side note: interesting to see how many folks commenting did not get it being satire (even the title has LGTM). I guess it's time to rethink how sharp the HN folks truly are compared to the average non-tech person (not that I had any big assumptions myself).

    I'm curious about this recipe for chevre :D

    • unknownfuture 22 minutes ago
      Cognitive surrender evidencing itself en masse? :D
  • Procrastes 1 hour ago
    I actually know a goat rancher who is working to require ag impact studies for data centers in Texas. Sounds like I should give him a call while I can.

    (Also CVE-2026-LGTM would be an awesome name for a Culture ship)

  • NooneAtAll3 1 hour ago
    previously on HN: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48086082 "Incident Report: CVE-2024-YIKES"
  • dvh 1 hour ago
    Brought to you by the people who've been told repeatedly since mid 90s not to glue SQL strings together.
  • cavalrytactics 9 minutes ago
    Should have used Sigmashake guardrails... When will this industry learn.
  • pmarreck 1 hour ago
    This incident report is WILD

        The incident was resolved when the attacker’s autonomous agent read a file it shouldn’t have, which is also how the incident started.
    • piazz 1 hour ago
      PSA this is satire ;)

      (if you have to say it, that’s how you know it’s good)

    • InsideOutSanta 1 hour ago
      Seems perfectly cromulent to me. And thanks to Karen Oyelaran for her work.
      • jazzypants 1 hour ago
        We can only hope she wins her GitHub rate limit appeal soon.

        This was hilarious. I didn't know that I needed AI slop satire in my life.

    • dcrazy 1 hour ago
      It’s satire.
    • bilekas 1 hour ago
      Its LGTM actually! And very much not serious! (yet)
  • yk 1 hour ago
    > Seven LLMs were arranged in series. Six assumed another had read the code; the seventh read it and apologised.

    And this is why management assumes that one can just automate software developers.

  • btown 1 hour ago
    If you're wondering what creats.io is - this is satire!
    • aftbit 5 minutes ago
      It's available for rental from the domain cartel if anyone wants to drop some $$ on making the joke just that little bit more real.
  • ant-kinesthetic 15 minutes ago
    "We continue to take security seriously, now at scale." is gold aha.
  • faeyanpiraat 1 hour ago
    You had me in the first half :)
  • PunchyHamster 1 hour ago
    Well the part about brand-image-incompatible depictions of firefox logo apparently wasn't a satire
    • gerdesj 1 hour ago
      This tells you all you need to know about the "fox":

      "This report was reviewed by Legal, who have asked us to clarify that the fox was depicted as over eighteen and that the sunglasses remained on throughout."

  • hasteg 1 hour ago
    [dead]
  • priyankarr 2 hours ago
    [flagged]
  • windsurfer 1 hour ago
    Perhaps a [Satire] note should be added to the headline.
    • aftbit 4 minutes ago
      Please don't! Getting tricked by the satire and then slowly realizing it's insane is half the fun.
    • john_strinlai 1 hour ago
      its tagged as satire at the very top of the page, first thing under the title

      (also, CVEs are numeric only, so the "LGTM" (looks good to me) and CVE "YIKES" is also a big giveaway, on top of ~all of the text being outlandish)

      • hk__2 1 hour ago
        > its tagged as satire at the very top of the page, first thing under the title

        Not the first thing, it’s buried in the tags as grey on light grey on white.

        • john_strinlai 1 hour ago
          >it’s buried in the tags as grey on light grey on white.

          if you happened to miss the tags, reading approximately any of the article should make it pretty clear.

          "This report was reviewed by Legal, who have asked us to clarify that the fox was depicted as over eighteen and that the sunglasses remained on throughout."

    • unknownfuture 1 hour ago
      It says a lot about the industry today that this post is somehow running afoul of Poe's Law...
    • hbcdbff 1 hour ago
      Yes, the Americans are waking up, we need to make it abundantly clear to avoid them misunderstanding.
      • ryukoposting 25 minutes ago
        Most of America has been awake for a few hours now. Maybe we need a warning that this post is known to the State of California to be satire.